Welcome to OUR World!: Scary World....

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Scary World....

Since Brandon is away, and it has been one of those rough days I have been taking a minute to ponder the goings on of this week so far. Do you ever have those days where you are just scared of whats to come and you wonder how you are supposed to keep your kids safe always.

They come to us as these little packages with no instruction manuals and its our job as parents to be sure that we do everything in their best interest and that they are well protected all the time..... But.....

There isnt a bubble that we can put around them and say "stay here and you will always be safe". I have been talking to a couple parents and I listen to their situations with there kids and I fear for them like I have feared for my own kids in the past. I go to school everyday and I hear stories and I am involved in things that my kids have also been exposed to (and it happens everywhere all over the world so no one school is safe) and I wonder what is a parent to do. How are we to make sure that nothing happens to them, that they are always protected from people that intentionally or unintentionally cause them harm. How are we to protect them from people who dont care about their well being at all and are only out for Numero Uno. I sit back and look at some of these kids and my heart breaks, and then I look at my own and all the love I have for them (even when they are driving me batty) and I just stop and think that I thought that if I just loved them they will be ok forever and always, and that is just not always true. It helps, dont get me wrong. But wrapping them in all the love that I have will not stop them from ever being harmed. Its inevitable that at some point in their lives something will happen that I cannot control and that thought scares me. I have been such an overprotective mother for so long and sheltered them from so much of the things that are out there in the world that the thought of it getting them anyway scares me to death. I am not ready for the broken hearts and the hurt feelings from bullying and the things of the such. I am not ready to let go. I know I need to, but they are still so little and I am not ready for that at all. I dont know where I was going with this, I just needed to get some thoughts out and its hard when I only have a 7 and 8 year old at home to talk to. They would just look at me like I am crazy. God love them, they are my world and I dont know what I would do if I ever lost them.

Hug the ones you love and hold them tight. Cherish every moment that you have with them. They grown so fast and in a blink of an eye they are grown and gone and we have to look back and hope that all that we gave them was enough to sustain them through the rest of their lives.

Loves to you All!!!!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

P.S. Sorry for the cryptic babble my mind is running a mile a minute in a hundred different direction and I am trying to make sense of it all myself.

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More About Us.....

Sean is doing AMAZINGLY well (considering), If you missed the last couple updates Sean has been diagnosed with Aspergers (High Functioning Autism). It was a tough road to get to that end result, but we are picking ourselves up and dusting ourselves off and moving on in the direction that is best for the little man. Always making sure that the end result will be in his best interest.

Sean was able to be a part of a program this last couple years that has helped immensely with his sensory needs, coping mechanisms, language helps and keeping him on track educationally without the chaos of a "normal" classroom getting in the way. He made so many friends, friends that understand him and his quirks and LOVE him despite them. He was finally able to see that there are people out there like him and he is not alone in the world. We were SO blessed to have that oppurtunity. After a couple months of waiting for the new school year and homeschooling he is back in the program at a new campus and loving it (Pieceful Solutions) they are a God send for us. This next school year they are going private BUT due to a scholarship program offered by the state we are able to continue him in this amazing program AND their new campus is right around the corner from us. Couldnt be happier for them or for our little man. New adventures on the horizon. SO exciting! Check back to see how our Aspie survives the new school year at his new campus!!!

Lexi has had a rough school year last year BUT she is LOVING her new school and her new teacher, her and her BFF (in Florida) are enjoying being pen pals still. Miles cannot come between them, they are still forever friends and always have each others backs. Its nice for her to have a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen from someone who is her "two peas in a pod" bud and will always get what she is going through. She loves her and misses her terribly, but they are making it through. They are both SO excited (AND so are us moms) that we will be taking a vacation to Florida in July to see them. Its been over a year and we miss them SO much. Cant wait. It will be a great adventure; first trip to Disney World, first flight and reuniting with great friends.

After a couple months of being homeschooled last year (which really turned out to be a great experience for both of us despite the added stress at times) Lexi is very excited about being back in a brick and mortar school. She is enjoying the cheer and dance club as well and chapel time on Fridays. Its been great for her to make new friends. This year has been tough again, ups and downs with friends. BUT she is learning to make it through and cope with the fact that not everyone is nice and kind all the time. She has had a boyfriend this year and they are adorably cute together. This year has not been without its drama, but we are expecting that to be the new norm as the kids get older. If we can just make it day by day, step by step we will make it through. Keep checking back for updates on her going ons at school and with her friends.

For both kids this new school year is a BIG change and an oppurtunity for them to grown in their own ways, It has been good for them to have much different experiences and growths. As much as they grow apart in some ways they are growing closer in others. Its been a struggle, but a good life lesson for Sean to be attending Lexis class for some parts of the day. Its good to watch her friends reach out to him, and to hear her want to stand up for him with the couple kids that dont understand him. Hopefully this trend will continue and they will remain close. As much as they get on each others nerves, they both know they have each others backs. We have made it through most of the year and in one peice, thats progress in and of itself =) Hoping this will continue next year as Lexi moves onto her Middle School Campus and Sean moves onto his new campus. This will be the biggest change ever for them, Two totally different schools, new adventures around the corner.

Brandon has been working hard and traveling ALOT (still, some things never change). We have been VERY blessed that he has been able to keep steady work this last couple years or so with the economy the way that it is. And we are hoping that it just stays that way. He is looking forward to our vacation this summer and a break from work. He is getting close to burn out but hanging in there. He is AMAZING and we appreciate the hard work that he does for our family. We love him dearly and miss him like crazy!

As for me: I have been enjoying just being a mom and having the oppurtunity to help my kids learn and grow this last year or so. I was blessed with the oppurtunity to give them all of me and everything they needed this last year. And they blessed me right back with a few lessons I needed to get out of life on perserverance and endurance. I love those guys to peices; and none of it would have been possible without the hard work of my loving husband. He is amazing, and although things arent always perfect between us he never gives up and always fights hard to provide us with everything we need. I love him more than words can describe.

I am looking forward to this school year and being able to take a more stand off approach. Still being involved but seeing how much they can flourish on their own. Still being there to help them with homework and attend their fieldtrips and events. Still helping occasionally in the class, but allowing them space to thrive. The stand off approach has been good for all of us, they are settling into that well. They know I am around when they need me but they are becoming much more independent. Love those little monkies!